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oil change is estimated to take longer than expected so instead of getting a little lunch by the dealership we’re ubering back to the city to go to happy hour

this is a game you can NOT play if you have endo

and if it is well then if you’re driving around me LOOK OUT

quick question why does Johns Hopkins Hospital need an oil pipeline to begin with

not to be dramatic but I think everyone responsible for an oil spill should die

not to alarm anyone but every week that I get closer to turning 30 I get 5% hotter

next cabinet meeting

comedian told me he zoomed in on my bathing suit selfie I said oh I’m sure