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Lesbianas después de una semana: quieres ser mi novia? Hombres heterosexuales después de pasar un año con la misma persona, conocer a su familia, amigos, tener planes de viaje y hacer el súper juntos: es q llamarlo noviazgo es muy pronto

i hate when people wish me merry christmas or happy hanukkah like they don’t clearly see the hundreds of cars marked up to 20% below sticker price in my driveway. like it’s pretty obvious i celebrate toyotathon

me too buddy, me too

2022. 2023.

i be like “lets watch a movie” then turn around and fall asleep

I cannot love or be loved, nor do i feel worthy of it, that being said $20 is $20

Whoever prayed for my downfall, you won.

100% cop

so true, king

babe look outside the sun is fucking massive this morning

my favorite abandoned building to break into got turned into a fucking Qdoba. The industrial revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

if u claim u dont care but ur still talking about it then you 110% still care

Just dipped my voodoo donut in the willamette and now my stomach sound like the beginning of rack city

thai food

looks like something my girl would post (I’m just like Tony Soprano fr)

her praise kink vs my insatiable desire to dunk on her

me if you even care