I’m going to start using this with only enough thought to not get cancelled. Hey Twitter, ya miss me?

jac just said I was ugly with a straight face. who are the real ones these days?

Being “smart” is taking tests well. “Intelligence” is knowing how to play Minesweeper.

As someone who is obligated to help first years, nothing causes more visceral anxiety than parents trying to move their kids into college

Made it back to campus by 2:30am in the rain but can’t actually go to my room because there are 2 deer outside my car

Charged my iPad all night so it wouldn’t die again while I was taking notes just to accidentally update it at the beginning of class

The thing with me and McDonald’s is, they can give me the wrongest order ever, and I’ll still go back thinking they might get it right

i’m coming, they’re coming, we’re all coming

I’ve been in cities more often lately, and now think pigeons are kinda cute

why aint nasa try explore the ocean

Goes to SUBway to buy a HOAGIE???? mrose

happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate

Code-switching explained the worst way

Now THIS is parenting done right. 💯 #ADHD #AuDHD #parenting #NDparenting

In the geo lab: “Are you sure that’s acid?” *with confidence* “I’m like… 20% sure”

5sos were so real for releasing empty wallets

at home performance of wildflower is probably one of my favorite things 5sos has ever done

Say what you want about Family Guy, but I’ve never seen a family watch the news that peacefully for that long before

The 5 seconds of summer show setlist (thread)