Me: My team does not understand how difficult and frustrating it is to plan large events and chase down people who don't update their part on time. Also Me: "Okay team, we going to start rotating leaders for this event planning... 😁"

Uh, absolutely not. The minute I'm in the airport to leave, I'm putting on my hoodie, earbuds, and busting out my Switch. Please leave me alone. I have decades of experience and a great network. Folks like this professor are jerks.

So.... 1. Found a shoulder pet 2. Found Disney ears I like 3. Had a feast at a castle 4. Drank something in all except three countries (a valiant attempt) 5. Lost my phone for 6 hours, but guest services found it right before we left the park Excellent 40th Birthday. 😂

Some A-Hole: Any dude who makes his woman pump her own gas isn't a real man. Me: Any man who touches my car is losing a hand. Some A-Hole: *nervous laugh* Me: I wasn't joking.

I'm convinced at this point Twitter is like "We already rebranded into something awful, let's name all our services something more ridiculous so X doesn't seem as bad."

The blue wave of childless cat ladies is coming for you.

New Friend: If you won the lottery, what would you... Me: Cat Cafe New Friend: ... okay, what if you won like $800 million dollars? Me: Cat Island with a Cat Cafe! New Friend: I meant for this to be a more serious get to know you. Old Friend: She is 1000% serious.

I didn't think I could hate an early Friday morning required training more, but they are making us put on our cameras and we have three breakout rooms.

Hey everyone! Just figured out how to eat whatever you want and STILL lose weight! Just get CDiff! Already a week in and I'm down 15 pounds!

We have mansplaining, but I think we need to popularize execsplaining... when an executive explains basic details or definitions about your job... and does it badly.

WE NEED POLICE AND JUSTICE SYSTEM REFORM!

Lots of people have cybersecurity mascots, but do they have a crocheted highland cow? We do and he's a super star in the company. Our security awareness and culture expert is the best.

Hello fellow posture management folks, I have a meme for us.

"Breaking Down Silos" does not mean removing labels from individual teams and blurring the responsibilities so no one owns anything anymore. "We are all one team!" is the chant of a failing structure.

Bullshit

Make sure you get enough water today. It's harder to fight when you're dehydrated.

So it begins. MAGA is about to find out how tariffs actually work first hand.