ive never related harder to something in my life

imma be so real. day 1 of zombie outbreak and im opting out. living not worth all the trouble fr

me. ;)

Humble duo request in NYC (or Philly!) 👀👀

Sorry for causing the planet to crumble guys (by asking to be paid for my time)!

Just because you want discretion does not mean you cannot screen. Nobody is sharing your information. I wouldn’t have a job if I was going around being careless about discretion. I don’t even see men in my personal life until I know who they are.

Will be changing up my rate structure in the near future - bookings made before June 1st will get my current rates 💕

Book that faceless provider. She’s hot and doesn’t have a lazy eye. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Everyone’s saying we need house parties to have a comeback and can I just say I’ve been hardcore carrying this burden in my communities. I throw a killer party of any size and facilitate connections like it’s my job.

I am excited to see men who are excited to see me. I don’t care if my fee is just another non-noticeable expense to you or if you’ve saved up for a couple months in order to afford it. Your income is not my business but the energy you bring to our date is 💖

If you’re not this type of diner don’t ask me to dinner!!

This is why I offer untimed dates as an option! Let’s us really make the night ours.

Please understand that I do not show my face to protect my privacy and security (as well as for my clients' discretion). You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you book me in person. I promise 😘

If you can’t follow basic instructions, you’re not ready for me. My booking form isn’t optional, it’s the first filter. The only emails I reply to without it are the ones that include every single field from it. Try to bypass it? I bypass you. No exceptions.

Still have some room on my dance card for my NYc visit in June 💕

New rate structure is live on my site!

Everytime I’m at the Berlin airport theres some new made up issue with one of the items I travel with (I have the same things every time). Today my perfume had to be sniffed for inspection!