“Coco Chanel says to take one thing off before you leave the house”

ruined the mood by picking up My Year of Magical Thinking off his bedside table and reading random passages aloud

in the Twilight universe vampires cannot grow hair, so I would like to posit that the Cullens have a large wig collection and possibly a big room for their wigs to live in. open to notes, but as of now the “wigk-in closet” is canon in my brain and emotionally true in my heart

realized I cannot respond to texts because I simply lack reading comprehension skills - no child left behind my ASS

new era: mad that I have friends who care about me and want to see me

four tickets to barbie please

hot people practice crying on cue on the 2 train

no one has ever taken news harder than @beth_slade_ when I told her that Ezekiel Bread has gluten in it

capitalism is a criminal scam but I also want these silly boots so much

the L train gives they/she pronouns

just matched with my old camp counselor on hinge and completely unrelated I will be jumping into the Hudson

Yeah I can definitely get that to you before May 1st

Don Draper would call me a slur but we like what we like I guess

she tomorrow on my tomorrow and my tomorrow til I crept in this petty pace if you know what I mean

gosh those dappled white pigeons are so cute and different, go off dove queen edge lord, u saintly little winged rats

Adrienne knows what it takes for me to show the hell up to my mat today

We're closing out our evening with these wonderful short plays: Bonefruit by leah, Natalie Wood Was Not Puerto Rican by Matt Barbot, What We Talk About When We Talk About The Homeless by Adi Eshman and A Sprinkle of Grace by Eric Craft!

Since I no longer care about this app even slightly but care about Aubrey Plaza a LOT I entered the Danny and the Deep Blue Sea Lottery for $20 tickets on TodayTix! Tap here to enter: todaytix.com/nyc/shows/3260…

nothing can hurt me, because I’m eating my little salad on the bus. just me and the bus salad.

why I didn’t answer your last email: