Please stop calling me while I am trying to watch Simon Birch.

Area man blinks too fast, discovers he has epilepsy

Area man falls out of a plane somewhere over the Pacific, plunging tragically through four swarms of killer bees and completing his untimely descent in an active volcano. Autopsy results pending.

It's weird as hell that you can be famous for not wanting to die.

How the heck can an ad be a reply to a thread?

Digging is literally the dumbest thing ever.

Everything just got 1 to 4 cents more expensive.

Man shall not live by jalapeno poppers alone

"Jesus Christ is Lord"

To the confusion of everyone attending the parade, Jolly Green Giant yawns and places his hands on his hips as he begins twerking "...all right lemme show you bitches how we danced in the Genesis 6 days."

"We're gonna beat inflation! ...actually, scratch that, let's just double down and cancel the penny."

People who come in and fill the tiny bathroom trashcan with non bathroom trash (soda cans, food containers, etc.) are savages.

I spend a weird amount of time thinking about the soothsayer from the 1998 Merlin mini series.

You can tell it's the end of the world because McRib was marketed as a Christmas special.

online protests aside, it is plain as day "protestantism" cannot be the source of Antichrist, famous as it is for fracturing into a gorillion denominations; the Antichrist will end schism, or take over One Church to destroy All Others. if Rome is Whore then another is Beast