You broke your arm? Well I guess I’ll have to your arm for the day… what’s the first thing we’re doing?

Ngl I love pride month because of all these dog memes these crack me up

Ah this is why women live longer… I’m so sorry chat.

I thought we were hagsmaxxing?? I flirted with an older lady and she just bent down, smiled at me and said ‘oh sweetie’ while patting my head??

Stare at them like this saying ‘ready yet?’

And still nothing good…

Leads to wrestling and suddenly someone’s pinned down…

Can’t helicopter, can’t stack donuts on it and can’t hold it. This world is truly a prison.

“I got you breakfast” is enough to make me ovulate

I’m currently wearing a sundress~ 😇

我最想做的就是把头埋进我女神鼠的巨乳里。我想喝下她臀瓣间的汗水，那神圣的甘露。但现实是，我的这些愿望永远都无法实现。如果我不能和她一辈子做爱，活着还有什么意义？上帝为什么要这样惩罚我？

Yeah that’s fairly true.

I’m so lonely…

Girls only act cutesy when they’re guilty or they like you… so which is it?

Why did god give me a flat chest, a big butt and no gag reflex if he was gonna make me a girl kisser???

I knew it T^T

I don't think anyones buying it...

Hear me out…