I need me a waifu who’ll be a good mother to my children after I die in battle or of probiotic soda overdose

Nobody tells you to follow your passion anymore. Maybe we’re just getting older and that kind of advice no longer speaks to us, but I feel like an 18yo college student today would laugh in your face if you told him to follow his passion

The tragedy of Elias Rønnenfelt is that he was born 15 years too late for his talents to be fully recognized. He’s a natural born rock star, with a charisma and cool far greater in scope than today’s rock music landscape can contain

Guy at a party in those big heeled Rick Owens boots said his biggest fashion inspiration is construction workers on the subway. Okay guy

Oomf, a young raver mom, told me she can’t go out this weekend because her nanny’s busy. She loves her little pumpkin just a bit more than Japanese hypnotic techno. It’s disappointing, but it makes me feel hopeful for the future of my kind

At my most vulnerable I saw a tweet that said “checking the weather app is bitch ass feminine behavior.” It’s stuck with me to this day. Now I’m soaking wet at the office

In a way, I’m happy Mamdani’s probably going to win. Like many of you, I also romanticize the crime ridden shithole NYC was in the 90s. Thanks to his policies, our generation will get to experience that urban squalor again. Hopefully it’ll inspire some good art

The goal has always been to find someone who obsesses over the same arbitrary status markers you do, and to obsess over those status markers together until death do you part

It’s very convenient living within walking distance of some of the best nightclubs in New York. Yesterday I went to Nowadays at 2pm and left at 8. On my way home, I stopped by the supermarket and bought a sack of potatoes

The Japanese Toronto accent guy video was a watershed moment in my life. I sent it to all my offline friends and none of them got the humor. So maybe this is it. Maybe the internets finally broke me and there’s no going back

Prediction for NYC after Mamdani wins: a renaissance of male friendship through the massive establishment of Sliwa-BAP style militias to protect our neighborhoods. Young men will camp at blink fitness, ready to defend the same girls who voted for their own demise

Oops I just spilled a bit of naked sincerity on you my bad haha

After many years of dedicated research, I am proud to unveil my invention: the infinity power generator

Don’t worry if you’re a bad employee. You can always claim you learned “conflict resolution” and “working under pressure” while trying to fix your mistakes in past professional experiences

I understand him. I’m Gen X. And it doesn’t matter that I was born in 1998

Lifted my head for a second, saw beauty everywhere. Said fuck it and went back to my phone