this made me think of touga & nanami. touga was SAed by their adoptive parents; to protect nanami, he accepted this fate but nanami never knew. touga felt alienated due to these circumstances. kozue may have felt the same in relation to miki

from ep. 25 onwards, this shot of the spiral staircase was shown when utena had to go for duels. from this perspective, the spiral staircase looks somewhat like stacked stones, which is interesting considering the many meanings attached to the practice of stacking stones

the red floor of akio's room reminds me of a sea of blood

the egg from ep 27 could symbolise many things, & one of them is puberty (period). this dream of nanami finding an egg & hiding it from a questioning boy reminded me of how girls were taught to hide their periods, to be ashamed of them, to not speak about periods openly

a detailed recollection of the utena monologue was first shown in ep 9 via saionji. he and touga found utena in a coffin. what intrigued me is that in ep 34, when we learned of what actually happened, baby utena was shown lying on the floor with roses, not in a coffin

anthy initially had her hands clasped on her lap, but as kozue got on top of her, her left hand gripped the car door

the correlation may not be there, but i find it interesting nonetheless

i feel this was what anthy believed with regard to this scene from episode 38

which is really heartbreaking in retrospect because she wholeheartedly believed she was a heartless and irredeemable doll.

i imagine anthy must have experienced intense waves of homesickness during the first few weeks, months, or even years since leaving ohtori that makes her want to return many, many times

however, the hope for a better life existing without the need for endless torment at the expense of love keeps her from returning as she continues forging her own path and not giving into a familiar yet eternally agonising comfort

i've this unfinished draft on how touga was somewhat a parallel to akio in aou: idealistic personification of comfort that utena & anthy clung to so hard to the point of stasis. to grow up and find who they truly were, they must reconcile the ideals with reality and let go

i want to add tht given kozue's hypersexuality despite only being 13 & her disregard for her & miki's parents (ep. 26), it's very likely she was a csa victim. the look of contempt when she said the 1st line vs the more cheery look as she said the 2nd line

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after thinking, i'd say anthy wasn't there w/ mr kaoru & this was miki's projection of & how the audience meant to perceive the new mother miki never met. it's significant tht anthy appeared as the rose bride: the ideal mother & wife under patriarchy is essentially a rose bride

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