When you're smoking food for a store demo and a guy with a "Body By BBQ" T-shirt comes over to talk to you, definitely listen to that guy's advice. He probably knows why the Cheezits you're making are soggy instead of smokey and crispy. I hope he follows my tips.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there!! You're awesome!

No hate for tacos, but why have a taco party on a Wednesday that happens to be National Burger day? That just seems like a missed opportunity for this particular business

Father's Day and the rain has decided to go fuck off so I can grill! Yay!!!

In my mind, saying I've reached level 41 sounds way cooler than just saying it's my birthday

Apparently the dad voice yell can be heard through the phone when your daughter's phone auto answers while she's having sex. I would've happily never heard that 🤦‍♂️

Just had a handful of white cheddar popcorn that turned into having to forcibly remote bag from myself so I would go back to work instead of devouring the entire bag. Now my belly is rumbling and I want more popcorn.

I did the home repair I've been putting off for a few months finally. It took 3 minutes. I will learn nothing from this lesson.

My 18yo that hates coffee went to Mexico and now loves espresso martinis. I think I might be able to get her to drink coffee now

Remember...it's National Night Out tonight. Police and first responders are occupied with events in the community. Go do that questionably legal thing tonight

Just got really excited about socks going on sale. Apparently I've entered my old man era. But seriously, GRIP6 socks are the most comfortable socks I've ever worn.

Just as I go outside to grill pork chops, I hear a rumble of thunder. Light the grill and I get some rain drops. Guess I'll be grilling in the rain tonight

I made the mistake of opening a bag of chips. These Hot Cheddar and Sour Cream chips will not last the day. I need to go clean out the Aldi clearance shelf I found them on.

A charcuterie board except it's all different s'mores. A S'morcuterie

Fall is almost here. Aldi has pumpkin spice and bourbon barrel maple syrup out! 🤤

Pumpkin spice is all over in the stores, but I can't get it yet at the place where they roast the coffee. I guess I'll just settle for brown sugar iced coffee like a damn peasant.

After my kids were talking about how amazing KPop Demon Hunters was, I decided to listen to the soundtrack. It's not terrible

I have a real life Nemo! I went to feed my fish and found my little orange fish behind the tank on the counter! No idea how long it was there. I tried to pick it up and it flopped around! I got it back into the water to tell the other fish about the world beyond the tank

The only wine I had was sweet red, a shot of bourbon mixed in made it taste so much better!

I just found out today, the tree in my yard that drops spikey red berries on the ground every year is a Kousa Dogwood and the berries are super sweet and delicious. Also popular for making wine. I may have a new hobby.