Still haven’t been hit by a giant random item falling from the sky. Fuck.

Sorry I'm late the urge to not even move a single muscle in my body today was strong

"You're not going to believe any of this shit." ~ 1st sentence of my Autobiography

Stop telling me there’s 3 1/2 servings per container, it’s not resealable and therefore is ONE serving.

Just listening to people and keeping it confidential can get you into some interesting circles.

I am my own kryptonite.

I told my dark thoughts to Get Out but they came back and invited all their friends.

if i was a serial killer the first thing i would do is go to the gum wall in Seattle and collect dna to plant at different crime scenes

Just give me the warm glow that can keep me up all night like the moon does

Everything happens for a reason. Stupidity mostly.

Just another fleeting glimpse that I blinked and missed

Just laying under my favorite oak watching the sun glittering through the leaves and calling it self care

I think we need to use turgid in more sentences daily

I'm an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit

Earlier, when I was here, I had 100k followers and plenty of friends—or at least, that’s what I thought. They even had my contact number. But once I left, not a single one of them ever called or messaged me. Now that I’ve returned after eight months with a new account and fewer

How about a "Suspected Spam" warning for DMs...

Babies cry because they don't understand the world; adults cry because they do.

Stay away from people who bring out the person you’re not trying to be anymore.

With great dilly comes great dally.

Just once I'd like to be in an upward spiral.