The Panel’s winners for #newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest 893:
1. 'My client will only accept cash offers or possibly rare baseball cards.'
2. 'What if I told you the owner is prepared to include a flashlight and sleeping bags?'
3. 'It's yours for the right secret password.'

The Panel’s selected winners for #newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest 892:
1. 'Maybe I'll read you a story about asteroids when you get a little older.'
2. 'Then George and the dragon worked out their differences amicably.'
3. 'I told you, a thesaurus is not what you think it is.'

The Panel’s selected winners for #newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest 891:
1. 'Of your 254 career saves, were any of them for a company in bankruptcy?'
2. 'Stop shaking your head every time I say 'you're fired.''
3. 'I'm sorry, we're looking for more of a belly itcher.'

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest 889:
1. 'This must be your first flood.'
2. 'Are these cedar planks?'
3. 'Flood? Some bears told us to get on board to avoid a drought.'
#newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest

The Panel's winners for New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #888:
1. 'Now that you're spineless, you should consider running for public office.'
2. 'What do you mean 'sneak up on you'? I've been here fifty years.'
3. 'At least it's a dry bald.'
#newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest

The Panel’s winners for #newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest 887:
1. 'There are three rules: I cannot make someone love you, bring someone back from the dead, or pass meaningful legislation.'
2. 'I want three wishes on my desk by Monday.'
3. 'Whatever you wish for, I take a third.'

The Panel’s winners for New Yorker Cartoon #CaptionContest 886:
1. 'You know that groundhog is only right like 40% of the time.'
2. 'It's not the sound of gentle waves kissing the shore, Walter. It's the dishwasher.'
3. 'Don’t forget to tip housekeeping and room service.'

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest 885:
1. 'I got thumpety thump thumped.'
2. 'Just don't let them use the smelling salt on me!'
3. 'I can’t feel my twigs.'
#newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest 884:
1. 'Tell Mrs. Peanut that I'll sign the papers.'
2. 'Don't even think about it. I'm a registered trademark.'
3. 'I can feel you unshelling me with your eyes.'
#newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest 883:
1. 'I was an outdoor cat. It's not as exciting as it looks.'
2. 'I understand the producers encourage these arguments.'
3. Just watch - the dog will get nominated.'
#newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest 882:
1. 'He can't rope. He can't ride. But, man, can he dismount.'
2. 'He saw the wrong man about a horse.'
3. 'Everyone out here is looking for gold.'
#newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest 881:
1. 'Cash beats plastic.'
2. 'Don't make me count to three.'
3. 'We’re a coin flipping establishment.'
#newyorkercartoons #CaptionContest

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon #CaptionContest 880:
1. 'Well, I see our time.'
2. 'Yes, time is just a construct. My time is constructed at $200/hour.'
3. 'I just felt it was distracting when I would look at my watch.'
#newyorkercartoons

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon #CaptionContest 878:
1. ''Twas the night before laundry day.'
2. 'They're the only things that still fit after Thanksgiving.'
3. 'I’ll put them back after you turn up the thermostat.'
#newyorkercartoons

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon #CaptionContest 877:
1. 'Nobody just texts to each other anymore.'
2. 'Will you please translate that? I'm over thirty.'
3. 'Those were selfies?'
#newyorkercartoons

The Panel’s selected winners for New Yorker Cartoon #CaptionContest 876:
1. 'I still think we should market it as a weight-loss drug.'
2. 'It’s amazing what they will do for a little bit of cheese.'
3. 'The painting is impressive, but the boa is hungry.'
#newyorkercartoons