once you realize a lot of people are just projecting, you stop being phased.

DJ Khaledxander the Great Wall of China

This is some tru shit

Thinking of the time I was trying to hula hoop in this store in Tokyo and as i was swinging my hips with intense focus, an elevator opens right behind me full of people in suits trying to get out but I didn’t realize that I was blocking the way and my friends had to tell me

Dehydrated vegetarian beef flavoured orange juice

People who brag about being able to drink a lot of alcohol are actually just proud that they have to pee a lot

I am the demon from your sleep paralysis #e30

Listen to my new song or else distrokid.com/hyperfollow/ca…

you’rewelcomegiving

Fleetwood Mac n cheese

That time I walked out the bookstore and immediately got shat on only to look up and see a pigeon at the edge of the roof proudly showing me its asshole and asserting dominance, that's how i'm trying to treat the rest of 2020

I studied 🧠 hard 🍆 and passed 🚗 the covid test 📋 with a 👎NEGATIVE👎

Feliz Navi Father

You’re the best ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

All “new account, old one hacked at 12k followers!!” says to me is “I swear I’m more famous than it seems!!”

Listen if you want open.spotify.com/track/4qjP3eXY…

Damn bro

why tf Air Canada not giving out snacks anymore? it’s not worth taking flights now i’d rather walk

Frogs were inventd in 2003

tbh nick lashea butter