"Also, we didn't attack Ukraine", a spokesperson for the Ministry of Truth told reporters. FFS.

Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 Perhaps stoning or we could just send them to the Taliban and let them handle it? Republicans have lost their fucking minds.

Well. If I made a list of things I could do and started going through it, in order of things I want to do the most, speaking to Ted would be right below masturbating with a cheese grater.

Breaking: 12.5% of the world's population detained by U.S. border patrol.

So I wake up in the morning and unsurprisingly learn that some journalists think an election won by a margin of 17.2% was a proper nail-biter. JFC.

calling bullshit on this one. Doctor Who is a fictional character.

What, like "toilet paper"?

They do have a bloody odd way of making friends, no?

Matt Gaetz still hasn't realized he's a walking, talking pro-choice argument.

At least read the first word of it, would you? Fucking hell.

...and it just keeps getting worse.

"I have never used a pronoun in my life"

Force me to have a baby?

Pretty sure it's the first time a president has stolen classified documents, now we're at it.

Because Hillary voluntarily turned over her email server and thumb drives?

Also, if you believe Obama made off with over 150 tons of paper, then you're a fucking idiot and beyond help.

No, Marco. Smear tactics are not intellectual property.

U.S incarcerations per capita: 629 Easily the highest in the world. For comparison, the EU countries average 104.

Queen Elizabeth II has died. Like or dislike her, if you can't figure out that this isn't the time to tell everyone how awful she was, this is your reminder that you have the option to STFU and pretend to be a decent human being for a little while.