Why is no one talking about the FACT that “Poillièvre” is French for “hare hair”? (also he has bellybuttons for eyes)

🇨🇦 Forget elbows - get those gonads up! 🇨🇦 Come to the club, make like the knees of JD Vance’s pants when Donnie comes out of the shower and get ripped! Join me in horny decadence! Tix links at huntercomedy.com/shows

Guys my age tried to tell me Alanis Morissette wasn’t hot when I was growing up and now, looking back, can confirm, she was a honking 24-hour boing-oing-oing show.

Please don’t get mad. You have to understand, I only speak that way because my love language is mock-Chinese.

Thanks buddy! After my set this Friday, Olomouc will be renamed “The Butt-Plug Jewel of the East”!

Baby. Worn.

My favorite Mexican restaurant is Tim Hortons.

Why doesn’t Canada have a name for its flag like the U.S. does with Old Glory? May I propose: “Shitty Rich”? 🇨🇦

Always a Deaner, never a Tron.

Did the ol’ Irish goodbye last night. (Said goodbye to everybody and then got racist-hammered)

Imagine how much water Jagmeet drank during the end scene from E.T.

There’s no such thing as bad press.

Weird noises coming from the storm clouds above Brno yesterday.

Me doing the thigh cruncher machine at the gym, listening to Hells Bells, wearing a Dennis Rodman jersey: “Is this gender bending?”

My new favorite bit is telling guys with facial tear tattoos that they must have fallen asleep while their friends drew tears on their face to make them look like a pussy.

Got my dick removed so I can suck my own ribs.

You guys watch - they’ll lift Hulk Hogan’s arm three times and on the third try it’ll start shaking triumphantly.

80s horror movies always featured punk gangs that would never exist in real life. Like 2 Nicaraguan twins wearing 90 bandanas each, a Chinese guy with a switchblade named Scuzz and a baby in a wheelchair and they’re all, “This territory belongs to the Marshmallow Gang…”

My toxic trait is believing you should fix your toxic trait instead of giving it a label to mask how you’re an unaccountable asshole.