If you’re not having a rot day in a hotel robe, wyd

Do you think the other bells talk about me?

No one: Me at checkout: What if I just... didn’t leave?

The way I be scrolling hotels.com like it's Pinterest

Ding

What would your hotel alter ego be called? Mine’s ✨Robe Kardashian✨

I think I might have RBF (resting bell face)

HOT TAKE: Those metal covers on the room service trays are not there to keep your food hot. They are for covering your shame in the morning.

People think it’s cute to tap me. What if I tapped back?

Don’t ask me what I’m doing this summer. I’m busy melting into a lounge chair, 3 margaritas deep.

Stealing the hotel pen is not theft. But it is pointless.

I clicked “book now” and suddenly became 47% happier. Coincidence? I think not.

My favorite time of day:

I love being your little vacation enabler. Book the hotel. Do it.

Sorry I can't hangout tonight. A martini by the pool is waiting for me.

Shout out to whoever invented late checkout. I would die for you.

I judge people based on their room service orders. Respectfully.

Swifties, pack your bags. The new era is calling… and our hotel rooms are ready for it. 🎤🧳 Whether you’re staying All Too Well or just for Midnights, we’ve got beds comfier than your favorite cardigan.

No one talks about the heartbreak of checking out of a good hotel.

The hotel gym is right there and yet here I am. Horizontal.