For future reference: The only porn I need is a constant loop of audience reactions to Pink's 2010 Glitter in the Air Grammy performance.

🍾Killing Eve Pin Giveaway!🍾 This pin could be yours! RT & enter here: tinyurl.com/ybqomhtx The wonderful team at Killing Eve generously sent us some amazing pins & our producers have decided to pay it forward by gifting a pin to one of our fans! #spillingeve #killingeve

Tried to mourn New Girl's removal from CA Netflix by finding the gif of a sugar free Penny about to jump off the balcony in Happy Endings. But, then I remembered when Happy Endings was removed from CA Netflix and the pain doubled in size.

🚨🚨🚨 ANNOUNCING 🚨🚨🚨 Our first #FeministDebater team: kristy lapointe vs. Adele Dicks! We're pleased as punch to have these powerhouses on board! Get tix: bit.ly/2VjAGXP

Watch as Sarah Kolasky and I try to figure out what makes these cupcakes taste oh so good. Spoiler Alert: It escalates quickly. youtu.be/uAIqY5vtgmc

*Alarm goes off* 🎶I’m a grown woman. I can do whatever I want.🎶 Me: Yes, Beyoncé. Yes! *throws phone into a fire and falls back asleep.*

Super impressed by the @feministdebaters tonight! Congrats to Sophia Fab and gang! Shout out to kristy lapointe for her fierce babysitter club knowledge + for Adele Dick’s sweet Fresh Prince dance moves!

I used to be afraid of growing older but then I realized that one day someone will ask me my age, and I will be able to say, "SIXTY-NIIIINE!" Unless I die before then...

Karen and Georgia talking about the Artist’s Way the week I restarted the Artist’s Way is just soooooooo the Artist’s Way.

If I check my phone and smirk like I got a message from a lover, please know that in reality I saw a funny meme about depression.

Today I have an audition for "30 something woman who owns a dog" and honestly, it's all I've ever wanted to be.

I thought I saw a handsome man trip on the subway but then he started bopping his head to the “beat” so I guess he wasn’t handsome after all.

I waltzed out of the house in a cute dress and proceeded to walk into a pole while looking at a paper map of where to next drop off flyers for my local yoga studio...AND NO ONE FELL IN LOVE WITH ME!

Hinge: What are you looking for in a match? Me: A kind soul with a passion for their work. Hinge: Me: Hinge: Me: (Sigh) An Atheist who lives downtown.

Behind every great Toronto couple is a poor bastard who lives in their basement.

Somewhere, Ben Wyatt is very excited, and yet, too frugal to indulge.

Someone told me I seem like the kind of person to own a bed in a box and honestly? I’ll take it.

Me on Global warming: Yeah, it's bad... Me on the Austin Powers Trilogy: I'm preparing a Ted Talk.

Rollercoasters are just rainbows that scream.

Therapist: what are you thinking right now? Me: I hate this chair. Therapist: um. We could switch I guess- Me: yes. Thank you. And somewhere, Larry David was proud.