Dear Willy Wonka, One of your Oompa Loompas escaped. If you are looking for her, she's in Jersey Shore. Love, MTV

Girls will put a heart after anything nowadays...its like "just took the hugest crap ever and now the toilets clogged <3

Baby on board* Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I won't.

Me: "I have to tell you this story about-" *starts laughing* *deep breath* Ok there was this... *starts laughing*

I give you edvice and you don't take it But y pop u give me some and I take it. Am I really that stupid

That awkward moment when blind people hear the song "Look at me now".

I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.

That awkward moment when your toys make 3 movies behind your back.

1st MONTH OF SCHOOL: Look nice & dress nice. REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR: Rocking the homeless look.

If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.. Take her to the Gas Station.

"Funny Sayings: Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost."

You have control over the actions you make

"Facts Of School: Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer."

hey bitches. im back.