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i do not desire mediocre love. i want to drown in someone.

i watch him in the kitchen， and i think of how much it hurts to love somebody. how deep the hurt is， how almost unbearable. it's not the love that hurts; it's the possibility of anything happening to the object of your love.

i love you so much i sometimes fear god will punish me by filling my life with you.

M-A-M-A-B-O-Y， MAMA'S BOY， MAMA'S BOY.

too beautiful. devastatingly beautiful.

and sometimes i have kept my feelings to myself， because i could find no language to describe them in.

you don't have to say anything. i'm not leaving your side.

i think i've come to terms with the fact that there will always be a ribbon of loneliness running through who i am.

but the past couple of days i've missed you so much it felt like missing you is all i am.

loving you is like eating bread dipped in salt， like waking feverish at night and putting my mouth to the water faucet... loving you is like saying i'm alive.

you need the sickness inside you like a body needs a spine. you may survive without it， but oh， how deformed and misshapen you'd become.

now the mask slips off. now you see me in all my horrible glory.

and i know there's a villain， but i'm worried it's me this time.

i remember my childhood as a long wish to be elsewhere.

i understand. i understand it better than anyone else. this is my mistake ... that i have destroyed our future with my own hands. an ending like this is the best punishment. alone in a world without you ... where i can't even die.

darling， darling. i live in you， and you would die for me. i love you so.

i can listen no longer in silence. you pierce my soul. i am half agony， half hope. i have loved none but you.

he is a weapon, a killer. do not forget it. you can use a spear as a walking stick， but that will not change its nature.

you're out of touch. i'm out of time.

this is how i love you. i am peeling back my skin， layer by layer， so you will finally know everything inside me.