Some of you probably scratch your balls just for the fun of it. I'm scratching my balls out of pure medical necessity. #hobohygiene

I don't steal, I "purloin". There's a huge difference. #hoboethics

Always keep your nose facing into the wind... or wash your balls at least once a month. #hobowisdom

I understand that public nudity is a crime, but it's the only thing that I'm good at.

A half-smoked cigarette, a page torn out of a 1970s Hustler Magazine, and a human tooth #whatsInYOURbindle

I remember when my fingerless gloves weren't fingerless. Simpler times!

#ImTheTypeTo fish half-eaten sandwiches out of a garbage can.

Just got myself a Casio calculator, everything works but the 9 key! #dumpsterdiving

This cardboard box isn't as well-insulated as the last one, but it is roomier.

If you eat food, you crap shit. But if you eat crap, you don't shit food. #omgthatssotrue

#imthetypeto tie plastic bags around my boots.

#FurloughFriday I'll probably shave later today-- just kidding.

#nowplaying "Hobo, You Can’t Ride This Train", by Louis Armstrong.

@southson23 I hopped freight from Hattiesbug to Opelousas with the Hobo King back in '02. Truly a regal vagrant.

4 toothpicks, an apple core, some shoe polish and a Vietnam service medal. #whatsInYOURbindle

Never pass out in a chicken coop. #hobowisdom

Nope, I'm not one of those "shopping cart hobos". Nothing against that, mind you, it's just not how I operate.

Just took a dump behind somebody's barn. #openairelimination

I'm looking good at the #hobocamp. I've got more limbs than "Legless" Jim Hollister, and more class than Wade "Shit Lips" Shuster.

I think I'm going to go out, I'm getting tired of sitting here staring at the four corrugated walls.