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Nothing hits quite like your therapist asking if you wanna go three weeks between sessions instead of two

On today’s episode of cooking when the grocery store costs $1 million per visit 🧾 we have… 🥁 Salisbury steak meatballs with mashed potatoes and a can of green beans. Enjoy!

NYT article seems surprised that people are continuing to purchase items as prices rise, but I need to eat and sugar free dp is the only thing that brings me joy.

I regret even looking in the stairmaster's general direction.

It has been said (mostly by me) that Oklahoma is the Australia of the US. Why? Because everyone loves our accent and we have like, A LOT, of ☠️ snakes. Venomous snakes are a part of life in the wild world of Oklahoma. Spring is here and so are they. Let's review;

Kaylin Gillis, 20, was shot to death in upstate New York when she accidentally drove into wrong driveway while searching for a friend’s house. Kevin Monahan, 65, is being held in the Warren County Jail on second-degree murder charges. nydailynews.com/news/national/…

This isn’t assault. It’s murder.

I refuse to believe that Waterfalls does not say “no bologna cries.”

Book 74/100: The worst thing about reading Matthew Perry’s memoir was reading Matthew Perry’s memoir.

How can that much puke come out of such a small person?!?!

This is the new senior swiftie test 🤣 Have you ever seen one of these?! 😂

I am INSUFFERABLE to be around this week. #TheTorturedPoetsDepartment

fellow full-time working swifties, here’s a summary of everything that’s happened so far!! ☺️

Need florida swifties to stop riding alligators or whatever and look around for that QR code like she has a song called "Florida!!!" on this album it's highly possible there's a QR code somewhere #TSTTPD

The only Taylor leek I’m interested in

From the desk of THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT intern, the #TTPDBoardMeeting agenda. 📜🤍 See you tonight. taylor.lnk.to/thetorturedpoe…

I won’t apologize for the tortured poet I’m about to become. ✍️👨‍🎨 #ttpd #taylorswift

This is the only time you can RT this #TheTorturedPoetsDepartment

Honestly only a Taylor Swift release could make me take up twitter again