You turn 25 and you start experimenting with different settings on your washing machine and its really exciting

baby i was the line leader in kindergarten u fw a real winner

i used to want to be an adult for the freedom, turns out... freedom comes with bills.

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro get a job.

they should invent a day where it all works out

A friday full of blessings —

insurance does not cover what i am about to do

i could really use a wish right now bro

there has been a british voice in my head saying “bit sad innit” for the past few weeks.

dont worry baby the back pain is because your wings are growing

he’s a 10 but it’s the pain scale

being the princess of the family is not easy

Sorry, I’m late. I had to clasp my own bracelet.

I feel like a phone charger that only works if u bend it a certain way

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

well well well, if it isn’t the bridge i said i’d cross when i came to it

I want all my bills paid for Christmas. You hear me Santa with your fat ass

6 pm in summer is beautiful, 6 pm in winter is a torture tactic