Brother being a brother part 2

Why haven’t one of you bought me this already?

Why am I still paying for my own manicure in the year 2024

I just ordered two dresses in my normal size and one came and was about one size too big & the other was like 2-3 sizes too big why is the UN not investigating women’s clothes sizing disparities

Someone let me be a sports announcer I think I could do it

Bumble was like “we’re making some big changes to dating😎” and then changed the font color like ok thanks

Hey Onlyfans RentMen Rat Removal can you stop changing my loan servicer or just do it yourself maybe idk

If a boy kisses you on the forehead he is now your bf I don’t make the rules

Listening to TTPD on vinyl don’t text

Putting on murder she wrote to go to bed because I’m just a girl

This is the skin of a (mouse) killer Bella

I have a theory that Taylor is going to retire at 35

In case anyone forgot what a hellhole the US is, today SCOTUS is hearing a case about whether municipalities can criminalize homelessness by making it illegal to sleep outside.

???

I wanna text all my former situationships and be like “omg can’t believe Taylor wrote a song about you!” and send them the smallest man who ever lived

Texted my brother I wanted an espresso martini

Went for a walk to listen to TTPD as sad girls do and found a lost cat this is the most Taylor Swift day ever

a good lawyer? no you’re the bestquire

taylor release night is peak girl friendship

blessed be all of us whomst live in the time of taylor alison swift