to any prospective parents who are considering keeping their baby’s sex a surprise until birth:

i found out my first child was female when someone said “oh she’s peeing”

on me. she was peeing on me.

just woke up, ao3 is still down

i’m not saying i regret my summer wedding but i am saying within five years, we will have spent two of our anniversaries celebrating other couples’ weddings 😂

BREAKING NEWS: i have entered my k-pop era.

please submit song suggestions for my listening pleasure thx🫰🏽

glass onion > knives out

wishing i never told anyone i was pregnant because people suck

to the parents of the kid who threw a snowball at me as i drove by, unless you can afford my medical bills and my car repairs AND two new car seats, you should probably tell your child not to do that.

i do NOT like sitting in a semi-reclined position but i cannot sit up straight with this baby so low in my belly IS IT DECEMBER 20TH YET

EIGHTEEN FUCKING INNINGS WTF LMAO

PEOPLE CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TOUCHING CHILDREN YOU DONT KNOW, ITS CREEPY AS FUCK. I DONT CARE IF ITS HER HAIR, FUCK OFF

if i want to go out one day looking like a goddess and the next day like an old couch someone left on their curb, that is my right