For the first time in my LIFE, I completely blacked out while getting my blood drawn this morning. That shit felt like a bad trip lmao 😭 Thank you to the kind phleb nurse who let me sweat all over her for 20 minutes

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Just watched a true crime doc where the husband killed his wife & then immediately tried to convince the cops she died from a heart attack because she “was too overweight.” The way my ghost would be THROWING hands. I would never let that man sleep another night, I swear lmao

My two most recent Insta comments are 1) calling me ugly and 2) telling me to repent before I go to hell… WE ARE SO BACK BABY!!! lmao

There are meteorologists CRYING about this hurricane on TV and here I am currently working at an outside bar in Orlando 😅

Parents really bring you the most random ass shit when they see you. For example mine just gave me a home grown avocado and 1 (one) gluten free rice crispy treat. Bird mom behavior fr 😂💕

Happy Halloween from Dr. Evil & Mini Me

As someone who has been 50/50 on having children her entire life…. That has certainly shifted to 80/20 overnight :/

I pray with every fiber of my being you experience extreme testicular torsion and the only option is complete castration. Your body, my choice.

🚨BREAKING: President Donald Trump has appointed Bryan Stars as the head of Department of Children’s Services

Holy fuck. I reached out to someone I thought was a friend offering someone to talk to and got the most vitriolic personal attacks in return. Genuinely shaken, wow.

So sometimes I’m working my very normal person bartending job and I’ll say “hey there, how are you?” to a customer and I’ll get a “Hey There, I’m Shannon” in response from them and it shatters my brain every time lol. I love you guys 🖤