Proud #Skechers stan

Middle American small towns might not have a pot to piss in but they sure as shit all have a Pizza Hut

It’s like all the stores are having a contest to see who can play the shittiest christmas music

Imagine what the world would look like if all dogs walked upright on their hind legs

There’s gotta be at least one dog hair in every bowl I smoke

Feel like shit, was up all night giggling

Cosplaying as a dom today

Gonna name my first born son Stu, but spell it “S2”

I want to smoke a blunt with them

Saw matty b rap’s tag on an insta post and thought it was some dude named “matty braps” 😷

Power slapping is so sick, reminds me of that 18th century warfare where they squared up first

Somewhere there’s a 13 year old child crying because their parents hated them enough to name them Derp/Derpina

Look pal, I don’t care if it’s legal to have the interior car lights on while I’m driving or not, I’m not trying to have ptsd flashbacks of getting yelled at by my parents

I’m sorry but Brazilian jiu jitsu isn’t “life changing” it’s just a violent outlet for people who can’t come to terms with their foot fetish. Its for guys that are subconsciously horny for other men’s feet and that’s it

I like to take my antidepressants with chocolate milk 💕

You know you’re down bad when the drive-thru employee reads back your order to you and laughs

Me 🤝 Using this emoji to let the hardcore kids know I’m down

I know my life is a movie cause the song always ends right when I pull up to my destination

Driving home in first person mode with my chin over the steering wheel

Ah, hello old friend (it’s a hairbrush)