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Just got another bathing suit in the mail. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. Well, I probably do, lezbehonest, but I’m under medicated for it

Come eat your spaghetti

I ain’t too proud to beg . I want Meatballs.

MILF Monday? Sure. Let’s go with it

No my first name ain’t Baby, it’s Debbie .

She loves the D

Because of our professions wherein not much fazes us, to receive a text from your BFF stating that she can’t wait to fill you in on some fucked up shit, it’s just got me all sweaty and filled with such anticipation and I may poop from excitement

I earned my followers the old fashioned way by being hilarious AND slutting out these massive warships on my chest. Come join the fun and frivolity…..

Some little Tinkerbell got good and angry with me the other day and even swore. Gasp! Oh- his timeline is all about his wife and Jesus. Of course.

Merry Christmas, y’all. Time means nothing

Also, Oreos just calm the fuck down

Girls be like “Self care day ☺️✨” and it’s just laying in bed eating and m*sturbating

Blah blah it’s Tuesday I know

She loves the D

Y’all ever look out the window during a rain storm and just pretend you’re part of a late 1900’s Richard Marx music video set in black and white?

Sometimes I’ll see someone and I just know they take monster dukes. Just constant double flushers.