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Don't want to show off or anything, but I haven't left the house since Monday morning.

My greatest fear is that i'll be in a video meeting and someone will see their own linkedin profile reflected back to them in my glasses

I guess it shows my current lockdown state that when I saw this I thought "ooh, imagine going on a plane!"

Once this pandemic is over I'm never washing my hands again.

Hello. I am a person in a film or TV drama and I arrange to meet people in restaurants for whole meals when I have a tiny piece of information to relay to them.

Have finally managed to book a haircut. Wondering if I can achieve the full Ginsberg before then.

This is one of the most embarrassing things I've ever seen.

Feeling anxious about what BBC Weather thinks is going to happen at 9am tomorrow.

In a massive act of hubris, I've just bought a 2021 calendar.

I guess it's better than the blue thumbs up, but somehow this fella still doesn't feel like quite the right way to respond to a grownup adult's bad news, post about their mental health, or lost cat.

Looking forward to retweeting this every two years for the rest of my life.

Just found my nose hanging out over the top of my mask. I’ve never felt more ashamed.

I know there’s a lot of bad shit going on in the world, but that doesn’t change how annoying it is to discover you put a tissue through with your laundry.

The teams for #TheHundred all look like they're about to sell you a £4 can of Double IPA or 9% Imperial stout.

Top tip for anyone just starting out in the world of work: you can answer pretty much any question by saying "it's all about finding the right balance"

The bit of the pandemic where we thought washing our hands a lot would keep us safe feels like a beautiful dream

Sick of all these emails suggesting that gifts bought now are "last minute". There are still FOUR WORKING DAYS until Christmas. Anyone who has already started is a coward.

We snuck in our final launch of 2021 last week and it’s one we were really pleased to be involved in: the winter fundraising campaign for IRC - International Rescue Committee 💛

Turns out that even after a deadly global pandemic of an airborne disease that killed over 6.5m, there are still people that think holding their clenched fist three inches from their mouth when they cough is somehow doing something.

Fair enough