Husband: *starts talking to me about the Browns• Me: “I don’t care at all.” Husband: “I know but I need to talk to you about it anyhow.” Me: “I can respect that. Go ahead…”

Turns out the 30 piece nugget pack at Chick-Fil-A is NOT a family pack. Either that or I eat way too much. tiktok.com/t/ZTRVG8fyS/

I just created a Chat GPT account and I might never sleep again. I’ll just be over here having it write more horror stories in the style of a Jimmy Buffett song. It’s good too.

Is anyone else suffering through THE RIG on Amazon Prime? I’m on episode three and still waiting for the story to develop. Is it this bad or does it get better?

B&N is offering a 25% discount on all preorders today and tomorrow! An excellent way to reserve your copy of my next true crime book, Little, Crazy Children! Use code PREORDER25 for the hook up! Barnes & Noble barnesandnoble.com/w/little-crazy…

Sorry not sorry but this track by Kenny Loggins is a banger. And it’s NOT from Top Gun. Ah, makes me think of slow skating in the 8th grade. ❤️ music.amazon.com/albums/B00Q6JL…

I say loudly- “I stood on the rail 'til I saw that train Just to see how my heart would react Now some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate And for them I can not disagree But I never learned nothing from playing it safe I say fate should not tempt me” - Mary Chapin Carpenter

Fight Club meets Ozark meets You’ve Got Mail…

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I wonder if Jason Sudeikis realizes that it was NE Ohio Regional Sewer District that made him just a little bit cooler and not the other way around.

PSA: It is Thursday and not Friday like I thought all day long. Fml.

SCREAM - a haiku Scream in the vacuum No one can hear or feel it Still I loudly yell Why must I do it Do I want you to know me Please tell me to stop But you can’t tell me Because the vacuum quiets Your voice just like mine

Vote for the library!

Urgent: This is not a drill. The CHURRO cookie is back this week at CRUMBL. I repeat, the CHURRO flavor is back on the menu for the next six days. Plan accordingly.

Sharing on all platforms because everyone deserves to see Jason Bateman with his hair wet. instagram.com/reel/CvBYTasR6…

This is why you don’t drink and dive.

GenX, just a reminder that “Look Away” by Chicago is a banger. youtu.be/2uKLTtVqQpE?si…

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Wordle 1,155 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 IYKYK. Today, I’m a rockstar.