I wanted a PM in the style of Elliot Ness . Cleaning up the country after those thieving scumbags . Not getting free stuff from a donor . #Starmer

I've successfully managed to link a new printer to my phone via the medium of Bluetooth and printed off some documents . I feel like some Tech Wizard Geek

Shots fired at Trumps golf club . Bet the frog faced wanker is already packing his suitcase to offer sympathy ?

Urgh proper Jacob Rees Moggy out there

Ooh it's lovely and warm

Morning all . The Grabwagon driver has just been on . Apparently he's struggling to take my full load away ?

Has anyone ever had anything warm from a supermarket bakery ?

Oh Lord . Paul Heaton has the one that sounds like The Two Ronnie's out again but with added Hootanny Boogie Woogie . Hacks off ears .

Grumpy second in command is on the mini digger NBD is moving 16 tonne of clay a day in barrow Third in command is breaking out brickwork Only me boys , what do you want me to do ? Fuck off and leave us alone till pay day . Scarpers

No swimming on a Wednesday means I slept into to 6.30 . It's like laying in bed till midday

Daaaaaaaaaaad can you buy me a Coldplay ticket for Christmas ? Considering her sister went to Sheffield Uni because the Artic Monkeys came from there ? Things haven't moved on as well as I would of hoped for

Is it possible to have an in growing ear hair ? Either that or there's a spider in there ?

#Ralph has turned into some sort of mouse hunter ?

#Ralph is asleep on my pouffe

BBC chief political editor Chris Mason once played Hammond organ for Brum Dadrockers Ocean Colour Scene .