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Happy birthday Layla! I literally have no idea who you are, like no clue. Your name doesn't even sound like a Genshin name ngl.

Happy birthday Eri! I wonder if you have a last name, I mean you probably do, but like what is it? Anyways, you literally didn't desrve anything that happened to you, and literally deserve so much better.

Happy birthday Dori! I still have no idea who you are, why are they piling all the new character's birthdays on December. Like what am I supposed to say.

Happy late birthay Shizuku Hinomori! (December 6th). I always thought your character design was cool, and usually had you on my team when I played. So I guess good job to you for making yourself releveant.

Happy late 51st birthday Nacho Varga! (December 9th). I love you so much, let's just pretend that season 6 episode 3 never happened. However, that final monologue was absoletely amazing.

Happy late birthday Thailand! (December 5th). This still feels weird to say, and I cannot recall you being in the anime at all.

Happy late 4th birthday Lilianna Danielle Malfoy Granger Lupin!(December 24th). Why is your name so long, that is way to much to type out. Also, how did you have a baby when you were 9 months old??? Anyways, you were always the clear favorite, so that's a W.

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but happy late birthday Finland! (December 6th). I can't believe I'm wishing a literal country happy birthday. Anyways, you're one of the Nordic countries, so I'll never be able to tell you apart from the other Nordic countries.

Happy late 4th birthday Holly Malfoy! (December 24th). I see what your mom did with your name there, however, at least it isn't ridiculously long. Also, Lily is definitely going to hold the fact that you were born second over you.

Happy birthday Kagamine Rin and Kagamine Len! I'd usually split the tweets up, but I really don't have enough to say. Also, I literally had to Google how to spell your names, and I always mix you up.

Happy birthday Ochaco Uraraka! Honestly your cool, and you don't desrve to face as much hate as you do just for being the main character's love interest. However, you also have no money.

Happy birthday Fried Chicken- I mean Hawks! You have no wings, and you have no bitches. You are also now fried chicken! Also, I was looking for a picture of you and clicked one of the articles and it said you were a milllennial which is horrifying.

Happy birthday Shawn Harry Yeet Styles, aka Magical Potato/Pot Baby! Okay, so technically you aren't born yet, however, we are finally only 1 year away! I'm not even going to ask what's going on with your name, or how it's even physically possible for you to make potatos.

Happy birthday Tighnari! What is this, the 4th new character in a row or something like that? I literally have nothing to say.

I'm sorry, I am not doing this. I officially quit.

Happy 22nd birthday Christopher Styles! I feel like you have some really fancy prestigous middle name, but I also just remembered that your my character, therefore that's my choice. Also, you having the same birthday as Voldemort is just really bad luck. Last, why you no loyal???

Happy birthday Zhongli! I'm not surprised whatsoever that your birthday is in December. Anyways, have a good day you little war criminal! Because something tells me that throwing mountains at innocent people is a war crime!

Happy 96th birthday Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort! Why do you have no nose? And you're ugly. Like you're really ugly. And your horcruxes were like the most obvious objects ever. Also, why are you scared of a baby and obsessed with a teenage boy? Find someone your own age to kill.

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

people not realizing this account is satire is hilarious. like why are you liking and retweeting?