Autocorrect is wishing me an unhappy #NonBinaryDay ...

Reality shows should do a big 3 placements reveal after the first ep so I can see if I correctly guessed what star sign they all are

When u non binary but only during a full moon

Me eating something with a 3 star health rating. “I know it’s a 3 but it reads like a 4”

Elon Musk may financially own Twitter. But it's spiritually owned by comedians trying to get their silly little jokes to go viral

Getting the most out of my Microsoft account by performing my PowerPoint again tonight #MICF

My PowerPoint tonight is going to be ON the charts 📊
(this tweet is only funny if you've seen my PowerPoint... so I guess you'll have to come see 🤪)

Sending through our rental inspection photos to our landlord like “here you go your majesty, I’m so sorry if the apartment looks lived in or used in any way!! Love you girlie, best part of my month is transferring my entire bank balance to you 💖”

feel like pure shit, just want a scholastic spy kit

In a Rom-Com everyone’s pronouns are will/they/won’t/they

The P in PowerPoint is for make it POP

If my visuals alone haven't gotten you to buy a ticket just get a ticket cause you love a good night and I'll pretend it was cause of my graphics xx

In an empty Vline quiet carriage, but this persons decision to seat near me maskless is LOUD

Elon Musk wants to put a chip in peoples heads? Well as long as it's a red rock deli and it's the mouth part of my head then sign me up!

What if Jared Leto got cast in a role where he was a healthy weight and was playing a nice guy that’s easy to work with

georgious georgious girls love to be dyslexic 💕

The feminine urge to do a fake roommate search on Fairy Floss just to get compliments on how good my house looks

Me to a dog Me to a friend who
holding a stick keeps bringing up
the time I shit myself
🤝
Drop it