Milo's letter of the week is F. Every time he practice's it's so hard not to just make him say something hilarious and put it on YouTube.

Frequently, I punch people for no reason. I also arm-wrestle dwarves.

What? I never bother people. You don't count, that's just payback.

I'm sorry we couldn't get you any biscuits and macaroni and cheese, but would you like some Brahhhms?

I love parking during Spring Break. It's like magic Tuscaloosa.

Oh, nothing. I just like to sing the soundtrack to ONCE in a haughty baritone voice.

My version of Jesus wears cut offs. And he owns a lot of hilarious tshirts.

Ham Bagby friends, in case you don't already know, the Bagby's are safe and sound. Milo&Ham are in Bham and Lisa doing God's work at the ER.

Ok, I'll write a song. It's gonna be about 9/11, Gabrielle Giffords, and the tornado all at the same time.

There are just so many white people everywhere. "Hey, I'm here to make a difference! I put on cargo shorts for this!"

Listen to me, it's not too early for me to bust out the Memorial Randy Macho Man Savage elbow drop. Randall Savage. Google him.

Hey now, Gladys Knight wrote "You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me." And that should be everyone's favorite song.

I don't even deserve this phone. But I have it anyway! Because this is America!

I started writing a song yesterday. It's called "I Wish I Was Born In The Seventies When There Was Less Of A Stigma About Morning Drinking."

The first line is, "If my father had a mustache when I was growing up, I would be driving a Camaro now."

Facebook is hard....to ignore entirely.

A penny saved is....good for some reason. Someone said that.

I researched for three years before I wrote "Shit's Crucial."... That's not true.

I don't like to look homeless, maybe like the suspect. I try to look like the suspect in a murder investigation....or homeless.

Movies put in all the broken bones and blood in, then put it next to tits and redbull so they can market it. TITS. REDBULL. FIGHT. BUY THIS.