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she lies and says she’s in love with him Can’t find a fettermaaaannnn

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I follow this old guy on TikTok who’s whole account is just him bowling and he did what is probably the most tonally perfect tribute to David Lynch

cooking just became accessible

I think the torpedo bats are stupid. Do steroids like a man.

20% ON THE EU, 34% ON CHINA, 46% ON VIETNAM, 24% ON JAPAN, 49% ON CAMBODIA, 25% ON SOUTH KOREA, 36% ON THAILAND, 47% ON MADAGASCAR, 38% ON GUYANA

Howard Nutlick

I wish you would all leave, go fuck up Georgia

this is just how people talk now

you know a bottle of lime jarritos hates to see me comin

whenever someone tells me they got a DUI i ask them what song they were listening to & i’ve compiled a playlist with everyone’s song so far

Wow, Bob Dylan is 84. He should run for congress as a Democrat

just realized I’ve inadvertently begun dressing like Adam Sandler

alright last one for now

When toilet companies have a legal issue they consult outhouse counsel