I’m watching Haunted Hospitals on the Travel Channel at work (in a hospital) with a 80 year old lady that can’t talk but does this creepy little laugh thing whenever a “ghost” appears. It’s kinda cool but also kinda freaking me out.

August 31 September 1

I will raw dog chicken nuggets before I disrespect them with ketchup.

Hardcore will never die, but you will.

so does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate induced disasters

Maybe I’m getting old and boring, but being in a hot air balloon looks like zero fun.

Spent an hour at work listening to a gardening and houseplant podcast because I have no garden and zero houseplants.

Sausage dipped in maple syrup is one the greatest duos that ever duo’d and I am sick and tired that we don’t talk about it.

Hot dogs actually are a breakfast food if you’re not a little bitch.

Ice agents make more than teachers, actual veterans and healthcare workers. It pays to be a bag of shit. God bless America.

I am crushing the last hour at work (uploading monopoly pieces to the McDonalds app)

It’s only the third day of the NBA season and the Italian Mafia is already involved

My boss figured out that I just pretend to be very dumb (I’m actually just a little dumb)

10/10. No notes.

Made the mistake of hooping with teenagers and getting cooked by little ass nerds because I’m old and slow was the most embarrassed I’ve been since I tried to say “gnocchi” to my waiter a few weeks ago.

It should be socially acceptable to eat french toast with your hands.

I don’t think I’ve ever fully recovered from what they did to Bambi’s mom.