I’m still recovering from my hand enlargement surgery, but the doctors told me it was a complete success. For years I’ve been self-conscious of my hand size and it’s greatly affected my mental health. Now the only small thing around here is hasanabi’s small ass head!!!

Psychopaths. They reside amongst us, sometimes undiscernible. But every once in awhile they slip up, revealing their inner demons. Many turn a blind eye to the signs, even when presented with nearly 2 hours of highly conclusive evidence. hasanabi you can’t hide much longer.

You asked, and we listened. Fans of the show have wanted to see more of the dogs, so from now all pets of the show will be ball and chained while on screen. They will then be shackled to the wall if they try to move, and at final resort will be executed and replaced 🐶

Kaya, if you’re reading this, please consider my home a safe space. We will welcome you with open arms without question. Don’t feel like you don’t have options. Every dog deserves a happy life. But not every owner deserves a second chance hasanabi.

Just tried putting shock collars on my kids, it fucking worked. Thanks hasanabi for the amazing idea, seeing you do it with your dog (who I assume you consider your child) really inspired me. Thinking about buying some to put on the crew next!

I’ve never said this, but I stopped having hasanabi over to my house because he would stare at my kids like this. It would make them uncomfortable to the point where they had to leave the room. I confronted Hasan about this, he called them babies and suggested a shock collar.

I tried putting a shock collar on my dog Ducky today, it did not go well. My pets are free to do as they wish and aren’t afraid to push back on potential mistreatment. hasanabi has done a great job making sure Kaya knows their place and that the collar does its job.

My wife Hila just tried to put a FUCKING SHOCK COLLAR ON ME!!! Fuck you hasanabi for putting ideas into her head. This thing fucking works, I haven’t been able to leave the house all day. Every time I speak I am silenced. Now I know what Kaya goes through every day. OUCH!!!

I regret to inform everyone that one of our crew members has passed away. Fat Love died of a sudden heart attack this morning peacefully at his home. He’ll be remembered for his big heart and even bigger appetite. He brought so many goofs and gaffs to the show over the years ❤️

For many years people have wondered who has been behind this parody account. Well, here ya go. Yes, I was a stand-in for a couple of years while Ethan was in rehab because of my uncanny likeness to him. It was an honor to be apart of the show and to be able to meet my hero ✌️❤️

You know what, fuck it. I’ll box Anisa Jomha. Nothing would make me happier than beating the living fucking shit out of you in the arena while your bad breathed loser of a husband whines and complains from the sidelines about me beating up a woman. Anything goes in the ring

Imagine saying this DRESSED AS MOTHERFUCKING SUPERMAN!!! It’s basically a Lex Luthor quote. You can’t make this up.

Like God, bbno$ 👶🚫💰, I am always watching. Or should I say Alexander Leon Gumuchian, your birth name. And what I have witnessed here is a sin. Do you think you can escape me? Not many do. You can’t stop what’s coming. I have just two words for you all: fuck bbno$.

Blocked for being annoying @anisajomha? That’s like saying Jesus was crucified for being a criminal. But he and I have 2 things in common: we preach the truth and forgive sinners. I forgive you for blocking me a second time. But I can’t forgive you for not laughing at my joke.