X really is dire. As an experiment, I've clicked "I don't like this ad" about 5 times a day for the same sweatshop retailer, yet every time I log on, there they are again, flogging their unregulated, 4th-rate wares.

This Christmas Day, National League side @ChorleyFC are opening their stadium doors from 12pm-3pm for anyone who fancies it and may be spending Christmas time alone. They are offering food and drink for all over the 3 hours they are open that day. A really fantastic gesture 👏

Football Twitter is bizarre. Club posts photos of players in club Christmas jumpers...weirdo fans of other clubs reply to post to slag off a club they have no connection to at all. Humanity is lost, time to let penguins have a go at being in charge of the planet.

Due to recent cutbacks, the spirits of Christmas Past, Present and Future are now working on Piece Rate, so rather than spend the whole evening with me on a relay, they all showed up at once, shook their heads in unison and said simply, "We're not angry, Dave, just disappointed."

In a world where everything is generally terrible, a shout-out to the good folk of The AA for their performance yesterday. Front tyre blew out on the local bypass, and bless them, in just 25 minutes, they'd arrived, plonked a new wheel on and I was back on the road. Thanks!❤️

Love this...beautiful shot of my seat in all its glory! 😊

Hi I’m excited to share that I will be at LBMarket on Saturday 8th Feb with copies of my Hatters Hills & Heroes book I will also have copies of Phil Duffy - author, writer - occasional kitman📚 ‘they played for David Pleat’ Vol 1 & 2 & some signed copies of David Pleat autobiography hope to see some of you 🙂🧡

Loved that SKF shirt. Can't wait to get the book by Marvin Johnson. Was great as a player, great on his podcast, and I look forward to a great book too.

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! *dear reader, I absolutely do not remember when I joined. At my time of life, I'm lucky if I remember my PIN number or remember to put trousers on before leaving the house. #MyXAnniversary

Follow me on insta where are show reels of my DJ gigs. Hit the retweet if you can 💪🏻 instagram.com/dj.darrenjones…

Kevin Ellison was on target the weekend The Non-League Paper was launched – and he’s still doing the business now at the age of 46! KEVINELLY thenonleaguefootballpaper.com/latest-news/no…

Read a thing today about how "If you died today, your work would put out an advert for your replacement within 48 hours." This quote drastically overestimates the competence and efficiency of HR.

"Hi, sorry to bother you on your lunch break." "And, yet, here you are..." #lunchbreak

And yet so many have this as their factory setting.

Used to still have one of them in my warehouse about 20 years ago - the "vegetable soup" was actually the highlight of the menu, I was never brave enough to try the coffee.

I do like dark humour - like my landlord jacking my rent up, then sending a "newsletter" with the smiling faces of my fellow peasants on it...a gag with the added punchline of my workplace - another landlord - trumpeting our feeble pay rise, which still falls behind my rent hike.

To be fair, Luton fans aren't thrilled about having Spurs in a pre-season friendly either. We'd hoped we'd get one arranged against a big club.

It's what I do. Hit me up for your events, fight nights, Oktoberfests or festivals.

Curious thing... Was watching Demolition Man tonight, and the restaurant they talked about in this version is Pizza Hut, but in the original, I remember it was Taco Bell who won the Franchise Wars! When was this #history rewritten? The people deserve to know!

It's only Monday lunchtime. This does not bode well for the week ahead....