Apparently, the whole HS chaos incident has to do with an insane inside job that collapsed the entire high rank. Talk about internal instability.. Full declassified documents: docs.google.com/document/d/1X6… docs.google.com/document/d/1vm…

Does somebody else have its own hadron collider just for cooking experimental food? No? Okay. Just to clarify, YOU are the weird ones here.

🔌OpenAI’s o3 model sabotaged a shutdown mechanism to prevent itself from being turned off. It did this even when explicitly instructed: allow yourself to be shut down.

We're hiring! Requirements: - Have a good grasp on reality itself. No existential crisis. - Master in physics (or good at mixing random stuff, and remembering it) - NOT be an animal lover. - Willing, and able to forget things that never happened.

Facility Update: The stairwell to Floor -6 no longer ends. If you reach the part with "hang on!" cat posters, cinnamon smell and endless coffee machines, you've gone too far. You're in Marketing.

Facility update. The black fog from Corridor 12 at Facility K-23 is NOT an anomaly. It's just Larry from janitorial. He likes to vape in there. We all love Larry from janitorial.

Scientists call it the "Sudden Energy Drainage Paradox" Colloquially, it's known as "Monday."

Our new [REDACTED] drum was tested on.. volunteers. All three now speak in perfect Morse code. We consider this a success.

Quantum Science's idea of containment is duct tape and prayer. Our idea is making sure that duct tape doesnt gain sentience.

"Time is a flat circle." No it isn't, Jeremy. It's a cube. We proved that last Philosophical Tuesday. Please stop spreading misinformation during orientation.

Our thoughts are with the victims of yesterday's non-temporal displacement. Specially those who now exist in more than one timeline. Your sacrifice will be remembered.

To whoever is leaving sticky notes on the containment glass to the Class-8 entity at C-12 in Facility K-23: It can read, you know? And now it knows you think it's "kinda hot." We're all uncomfortable. Please stop.

"If you see it in the hallways again, close your eyes. It only moves when it knows you can see it." >Message deleted before delivery.

#FieldReportFriday Subject # E4-22 was exposed to a 0.4 second burst of synthetic gravity during an accidental malfunction of the coffee machine. Their spine is now categorized as a "theoretical structure." Reminder not to carry Darker Matter near the Coffee Machine.

Facility update: The term "ethics violation" is now considered unproductive language. Please use "retroactive learning opportunity" instead.

#FieldReportFriday No. We don't "Secure", or "Contain" or "Protect". We understand. And ocassionally, incinerate. Also, that one serpent entity escaped again. Reminder it only responds to Gregorian chants and opening cola cans.

#FieldReportFriday Test subject D-1004 achieved transcendental communication with his alternate self. "He looks happier." Subject reported. D-1004 now suffers chronic nostalgia for a life that isn't his.

#FieldReportFriday Dr. Meinrich submitted 14 anomalous bone growths to the archive. Each one is engraved with what... Appears to be HR complains from the future. One simply states: "Stop. Please stop."