Worried about losing in a competitive improv show? Just remember, you’re doing improv, so you’re a fucking loser anyway.

The Improv Process: 1) Take suggestion 2) Chop salad 3) “You always do this!” 4) ??? 5) Thunderous applause

Struggling with the running order of games for your shortform improv show? Here’s an example of a good list: 1. Good potato, bad potato 2. Where’s the soup? 3. Questions about your sexuality only 4. More ethnic, less ethnic 5. Sitting, standing, wanking 6. Party squirts

Unsure what to do for your Harold opening? Try mindlessly and awkwardly associating words, with huge pauses in between each person. Bonus points for all saying “whoosh” and waving your arms at the end. Your scenes should, under no circumstances, be inspired by any of this.

Need some good warm-ups before your improv show? Here are some suggestions: - Word At A Time Story - Zip, Zap, Zop - Three Line Scenes - Speed Dabbing - Lick As Many Walls As You Can - Tabletop Measure Me - Scenes Into Screams - Punch The Ugliest Person

Christmas improv format - normal shortform show, but instead of slapping the stage, slap your relatives. Show ends with grandma mercilessly kicking the shit out of the front row.

Normal game of ABC, but every time a player gets a letter wrong they have to attend a sixteen-week adult literacy course. Learn the alphabet David for fucks sake.

Halloween Improv Games: 1. Questions Only, but players can only ask “trick or treat?” 2. Party Quirks, but everyone’s quirk is they’re a pumpkin 3. Sound Effects, but the only sound effect is a blood-curdling scream 4. Alphabet, but the only letter is S (for scary) 5. Boo Choice

Fun warm up - “Bag For Life”. Everyone puts a paper bag on their head. People take turns screaming different items you’d find in a grocery store. Game ends when you get kicked out of the shop.

Don’t know what kind of suggestion to ask for at the top of a show? Give the suggestion yourself. Establish your dominance. Heels in the ground. Never back down.

Longform format where a guest monologist comes on and speaks truthfully from a suggested word. That’s the entire show. No scenes. You’re not the boss of me. Fuck you.

Is there a player on your team who's troublesome to work with? Talk to them. Hug them. Tell them you love them. Then stab them in the neck.

Having trouble sticking to your shit? Superglue shit to yourself, you worthless piece of shit.

Game called "I can't Belieb it's not butter!". Guest star Justin Bieber gets slathered in butter and everyone eats him. Justin Bieber plz rt

Game called "Wheel of Fun!" Ask the audience to vividly picture the final moments of their last relative who died. Calmly leave the stage.

Game called Dogprov. One player leaves the room, then comes back and has to guess who's a good boy.

Find musical improv intimidating? Don’t do it. You’re pathetic and your funeral will be very badly attended.

Fellow player blaming the suggestion for why the show was bad? Plant a friend in the audience next time. Ask for a suggestion. Get your friend to shout “A GREAT IMPROV SHOW”. That will solve all of your problems.

Performing with someone in their first ever improv show? Offer some friendly advice! Lean in close to them and whisper “don’t fuck this up for me, or I’ll murder your entire family”. Then play zip zap zop.

Game called “Sharty Quirks”. One player leaves the room, then comes back and has to guess which person at their party has shat themselves.