Some of these are made up

I just think FKA Dexys Midnight Runners would be great name for a band

I need some new tweets

The Cheese Twist moves further up the Most Popular page on my local self service. Keep going buddy!

An eclipse: Bring to front - the moon Push to back - the sun

Thinking about the little bag the guy’s given in Society of Snow for his big walk. The packed lunch

The final stage of grief is reporting the place closed on google maps

I’ve just bought a Keith Haring t-shirt hash tag I am thirty four

It’s when Homer is with marge on their wedding day and a lorry goes past and he says “hey, Levi’s. Do you think they have jeans in there?”

What year is this?

Why is it so comforting to sometimes sit on a closed toilet

Ah just checking my favourite social media platform where I’m having to check the profile of every poster before I like anything so I don’t inadvertently contribute to a culture war instigated by the ceo of the social media platform

You don’t want to do Shakespeare underwater or you might get coral in your anus

When you hear a podcast where the people are in the same room and not over a zoom, that’s today’s equivalent of vinyl

Does this recycle?

Taking my bike on the Eurostar as a passenger instead because it’s cheaper than storage. Then dressing it up as a sleeping person and saying “please don’t wake up my friend, he’s wheeely tyre-d”