Nail day>>>

there’s this sparkle in a man’s eyes when he’s about to go play 18 on Sunday when it’s 75° & sunny that you just can’t recreate

WE ARE SO BACK

I’m the drink ring leader
I order a French martini, the girls order a French martini
I order an espresso martini with silver tequila, the girls order an espresso martini with silver tequila

I've been getting really into freaking the fuck out lately

The HR department while you’re onboarding a new job

do u fw girls who have the nervous system of a prey animal

hand stuff is IN this summer

sure

listening to vampire weekend

today is my day

A 24 year old young girl, a child really, should not have to renew her plates, update her home address, and get a new license all at once

“you better not be in your bed with an unnecessary amount of aloe in your hair and those stupid forehead patches on watching Greta Van Fleets candlelight sessions on YouTube when I get over there”

Gf just asked why my towel was “addicted to being on the floor”

not now sweetie, mommy is lusting after someone unattainable

might walk down the aisle to the piano version of Love Sosa

no where in the Bible does a beautiful woman have to fit 82 grams of protein into one meal, yet here we are

This whole eclipse glasses situation once again marginalizes the “doesn’t plan ahead” community, incidentally the only people who actually appreciate beauty.

what kind of music do you play in your car when you pick your boss up from the airport? sex with me by Rihana came on shuffle and it didn’t seem to be the right vibe

after today it’s very apparent to me that I need a boyfriend because
1. Need a screw driver to take apart my monitor
2. Don’t know what to say to the people at the car wash