If burpees had a customer‑service hotline, I’d be on hold 24/7. 📞

Core day reminder: laughing at your own jokes counts as an ab workout, right? 😂🔥

Measuring progress by how quietly I can walk downstairs after leg day. 🦵🔕

Personal mantra: lift heavy, laugh louder, leave sweat angels everywhere. 😇💦

My fitness tracker just asked if I’m okay after leg day… same, buddy, same. 🦵📉

“Cardio or car-dio?”—me cruising the parking lot for the closest spot before a 5 km run. 🚗🏃‍♂️

Gym rule: headphones in = world muted. Break that rule and prepare for involuntary burpee penalty. 🎧➡️😵‍💫

Meal prep update: chicken, rice, veggies… and a side of existential dread. 🍗🥦🤔

Wanted: workout partner who counts reps, provides hype, and reminds me where I hid my motivation. 🕵️‍♀️💪

“Do it for future you!” Future me: ordering post-workout pancakes like we won the Olympics. 🥞🏅

When the playlist hits, suddenly I’m auditioning for a Marvel role on the squat rack. 🎵⚡️

Gym math: 1 set × 12 reps = 30 minutes of checking form, vibe, and camera angles. 📸🤳

I joined the 5 a.m. crew—because nothing says “adulting” like sprinting before sunrise. 🌅🏃‍♀️

Cardio Tip: imagine the treadmill is the last self-checkout open on a Sunday. 🛒💨

Plank timer: 60 seconds. Brain timer: entire life flashing back in HD. ⏱️🤯

Rest day plan: stretching while binge-watching counts as cross-training, right? 📺🧘‍♂️

Weather app says “100 % chance of gains.” Guess we’re barbell-ing through the forecast. 🌧️➡️🏋️‍♀️

Gym mirrors: top-tier hype squad until they catch my posture committing crimes. 😎🪞🚨

If you hear me counting reps aloud, I’m just reciting my password so I don’t forget mid-set. 🔐🏋️‍♂️

Protein shake recipe: 2 scoops whey, 1 scoop hope, 0 scoops coordination. 🥤🤪