Validation is underestimated when offered to a person needing to be believed about trauma they’ve endured. Those harsh memories live in a mind and body struggling to find peace. Validation gives permission to keep the focus on healing rather than proving how much they’re hurt.

Breaking Through and/or Breaking Points open.substack.com/pub/glassfullg…

A more personal share. open.substack.com/pub/glassfullg…

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Trauma survivors often need as much information about whats going on around them as possible. This may seem intense to others, but when you’ve lived with so much uncertainty around areas that were out of our control, having facts about areas you can control helps you feel safe.

You’ll know you’re safe with someone when you experience difficult moments together and realize honesty doesn’t have to be brutal and love doesn’t have to be tough.

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Why do people over-explain? 1). They've had their reality denied & are trying to be understood. 2). They got hurt in harsh ways & think it was because they didn't explain themselves better. 3). They were/are often ignored. Sending peace as you rest in your explanations.

What stops us from speaking truth to power is not a desire for harmony. It’s a climate of fear and futility. When leaders fail to make it safe and worthwhile to be honest, we bite our tongues. Weak leaders stifle dissent and leave themselves weaker. Strong leaders welcome

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The aftermath of abuse often leaves the survivor too tired to ask for anything more than to be left alone. If this is you, I hope you consider what brings you pleasure & joy—the things that make it feel worth it to have hope again. You of all people deserve a full & free heart.

Breaking the cycle is lonely. Cycle breakers often spend much of their life trying to belong until it costs too much. The pain in that is being invisible when you needed to be seen the most. While it's not an absence of people, it is an absence of people who love well.

This constant need for a person in dire pain to be more positive doesn’t make sense when you listen to what they’re trying to overcome. To be clear, their lack of positivity isn’t being negative—it’s being honest and I think that’s what people have an issue with.

When a person starts healing after living in survival mode, they have a deep desire for honesty & authenticity. They’ve had to fight for their ability to think clearly & know who they are. It’s been quite costly. They’re not willing to engage with those who won’t respect that.

They won’t “Get over it,” until their nervous system regulates it. They can’t “Just move on,” until their body feels safe to. They won’t “Just think positive” until their thoughts have been validated & they find relief. If it’s not trauma informed, it’s not meant to heal trauma.

How to support someone through a difficult time. A STEP BY STEP GUIDE:

People aren’t only healing from trauma they endured. They’re healing from the life they lived in survival mode. They’re healing from the judgement of how they think and feel. They’re healing from the grief of what could’ve been had they never been traumatized to begin with.

I hope you’re healing includes taking back what you never offered.

Historical trauma is not just about what happened in the past - it’s about what’s still happening. So how do we meet the moment & shift into a #TraumaInformed paradigm? Learn more: loom.ly/htaxslI Full series: loom.ly/tktbDl8