If Paul Revere was gay:

Why y’all keep asking where the police at? Y’all ask where Miley’s at when Hannah’s on stage?

Well that escalated steadily for four years.

whoever normalized $65 hoodies and $80 sweatpants needs to be castrated

I refuse to have ipad children

pizza for dinner

Why am I still ordering clothes? Where am I going?

Y’all explaining stocks to me: All I hear: “IF JACK GOT 4 APPLESSSSS”🗣

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin bout but we ain’t got it lol”

girl power is when a woman is absolutely fucking insane and off the rails and unhinged and deranged and evil and fucked up

my useless superpower is reading a john mulaney quote and knowing the exact pitch and pace in which he said it

followed another thin rich model on Instagram because i like playing it fast and loose with my mental health apparently

Fleabag is the best tv series ever, no one can change my mind.

I just wrote something, deleted it and for a brief moment felt like that was enough work for the day.

Mood

I would like to thank myself, for teaching myself everything this semester

judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth me: yes judge: who do you like me: omg dare