I only still have twitter because every now and then I'll see a funny tweet about Mad Men and I can smile to myself and think about how much I love the tv show Mad Men.

Kicked out of university for taking a "one for them, one for me" approach to my essays. Smdh is there no respect for true auteurs in our culture anymore?

👑👑 💕

Early arctic monkeys: I left me phone in the fish and chip shop (Fish and chip shop!) Late period arctic monkeys:

Everyone is the Jack Skellington of their own birthday

Channel 4 expose ethnic cleansing in West Bank. Hamas are not in the West Bank. It is not defence. It is genocide.

Richard Ayoade: I think I know it Mel Giedroyc: Oh my God Jimmy Carr: Write down your answers *tense silence* mystery guest please reveal yourself Somerset Gimp *cheekily smiling*: Hi! My names Josh and I terrorised Somerset in a gimp costume *audience loses it* Ayoade: I knew it

Having a fifth glass of Bailey's

If I had 6-8 pints with Paul atreides he'd probably chill tf out

The 2020s need a noughties coded pop group comprised of a beautiful 23 y/o female vocalist and her 35 y/o producer boyfriend

Telling your homie your darkest secrets like "forgive me brother for I have sinned"

That's that me espresso, That's me in the spotlight , Losing my espresso...

This “failure of integration” narrative is crazy — opinion polls have shown that a majority of the public support an arms embargo against Israel, for example. It doesn’t suggest a cultural divide if Muslim voters share the same view but take it more seriously

Say what you will, Keir Starmer could not have written Strawberry Swing

Love an unexpected needle drop during international football coverage! Chicago by Sufjan Stevens over a montage of Dutch defenders making crucial blocks?? Yes please!!

John Barnes in 1990: Catch me if you can cuz I'm the England man... Madri man in 2024: Catch me if you can cuz I'm The Madri Man... Can't you see how fucked this is??

Jeremy Corbyn seems like the type of guy who's seen at most 8-9 films in his whole life. Took the nieces and nephews to see harry potter and the order of the phoenix for a birthday party in 2007. Loved it! Hasn't seen a film since.

"Haha totally, I'm a brat when I'm bumping tha-" *knocks drink over the prettiest woman at the bar