Me giving handy-Js for $15 USD is a recession indicator

Who up comparing me to a summer’s day?

cocaine is a better networking tool than linkedin could ever dream of being

can my unstable mutuals stop deactivating… im about to hit 5k

Stop acting like this is the end of the world. It’ll be fine. It’s not like we have a black woman in the Oval Office or something

Statistically the Trump voters and the non voters are the ones who will be hit the hardest. You idiots who didn’t vote for Kamala cuz you pretended like that was somehow good for Palestinian people are going to be hit hard and I’ll try to remember to not tell you I told you so

If you didn’t vote for Kamala you’re an idiot, a real fucking dumb ass sack of nuts. Anyway my OF is free right now so you got that going for you

Misinformation

Met him at a store in Malibu while I was on acid. I thought he was like a biker or drug dealer or something. He looked really cool and mean but he was nice. Didn’t know who he was. Then my friends were like that was the dude from Kill Bill! Anyway, rest in power David Carradine

Joe had a show with my favorite stand up, Doug Stanhope. I’ve been aware of him for over 20 years. I’d listened to his show when he’d have Dennis McKenna on. This man always was and always will be an idiot. People explain things to him like a child and he still doesn’t get it

Just ate 6 mini muffins and downed a cold brew. For the next five minutes the world is my oyster and everything I tweet is a south sea pearl

let’s hangout by the pool; you can rub coconut oil all over me and watch me slurp down glizzies(:

it's the fourth of july which means we aren't celebrating SHIT!!! FUCK ICE TODAY, YESTERDAY, AND TOMORROW!!!!

Walking around, looking for blown off fingers to shove up my ass

If you post about politics and you’re still posting about Biden, stfu. He’s gone. It’s over. There’s no shortage of current events to cover so why the fuck are you wasting time on maga talking points from two years ago

If I cave and get a blue check, I’ll tell myself I’m supporting Vivian Musk’s Dad so it’s okay

Are any of you hearing all those popping noises outside? It’s really starting to scare me…

My dog doesn’t like fireworks cuz she has ptsd from the last four 4th of Julys

🩷

Dear Twitter Friends, the happy squirrels are running fast and free.