You can’t touch this. You can’t touch this. You can’t touch this. You can’t touch this. Lyrics to a beloved 90s hit, or parent to an over-curious toddler? The world may never know.

As gay parents of five kids who visited Walt Disney World DOZENS of times, Robert Cooper 🌊 and I — and our family — are TERRIBLY HURT by Disney’s decision to keep donating to all the sponsors of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Disney doesn’t care about its LGBTQ fans or employees.

The registry gifts are rolling in. We have the best friends in the world.

Registering with Babylist was one of the best decisions we could’ve made. Recos, buying options, and everything you need to make getting started as easy as can be. I almost put a pair of Jordans (size 11.5 👀) on there just to see what happened. #GayDads

Mine was needing some new batteries and having a full selection of sizes to choose from…ready to go.

I used to be able to say no when someone says “I’ve never been peed on” when playing “Never Have I Ever”. Now? I’m taking a drink. #GayDads

It’s never water.

So if my son went to school in Florida, he would not be allowed to mention his father? How does this work exactly? @RonDeSantisFL

My poor baby daddy was so tired when I took the baby from him this morning lol. We haven’t shared a bed for more than an hour in 2 weeks.

I said I wanna take a nap. 10 mins later, I’m the only one in the house who’s awake. How did this happen?

It’s 2:55am and I’m awake with a bottle. And not in a good way.