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Drag queens take note, you just have to call kids the n-word to get Matt Walsh’s support.

Matt Walsh, Alpha Male.

Hollywood Ambassador Kirk Cameron is already working hard at saving the industry.

The beautiful Mar-a-lago maidens are reminiscent of the Brides of Christ, welcoming us into heaven’s kingdom with untold riches and a lusty appetite, which is relatable to middle America.

I’m so humbled that South Dakota has displayed my bronze President Trump statue, which is free to worship as it has been blessed to grant wishes to all who are worthy.

As part of my Hallmark boycott, I have designed my own Mother’s Day card to give to Mama Peterson that comes straight from the heart. She’ll love it so much she may even hang it on the fridge.

We patriots aren’t gonna let wokesters take over Times Square, therefore we’ve erected our own beautiful Chaya Raichik statue for tourists to admire.

I’ve found out Kirk Cameron has a kids show, and now my kids will be screaming for joy when we start watching!

When President Trump needs a touch up, he enters his throne like a king.

History is made, as we get two new popes, both from Chicago, and both on a mission from God.

Don’t worry Joey, I hear that crying harder will help.

Impossible. Daily Wire subscribers are involuntary celibate.

With Judge Jeanine and Pete Hegseth in charge, America is back and ready to drink all other countries under the table! #winning

People forget that Catturd met his 4th wife in the country of Mattel.

My son loves his visits to Mar-a-Lago, because the Brides of Christ accept him as their own over morning mimosas.

Marco Rubio is a modern apostle, always thrilled to vacation in Saudi Arabia to help President Trump’s friends.

Ben & Jerry’s went woke when they wouldn’t give us the flavor we demanded.

Fine, I’ll just make a Quarter Pounder with Cigarette Butts at home.

When Michael Bay created Godzilla, he made sure America left its mark in monster cinema, as no other screen icon has fought for American safety and innovation more than our fiery green friend.

Adonis Catturd has spoken.