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butter knife

Batman about to come beat they ass

Perhaps the Outlook lads who request a Read Receipt can request some mates too while they're at it

Sir Bobby Charlton CBE, 1937-2023. Words will never be enough.

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We haven't had a general election since 2019. In that time, we've had 3 prime ministers, 5 chancellors, 4 home secretaries (Sue-Ellen twice), about 6 by-elections following allegations of sexual misconduct, lobbying and a PM accused of misleading parliament

Mad that Ange Postecoglou is just Brendan Rogers with a didgeridoo

[High Performance Podcast] Santa: y'know how long it takes to make a list of every child in the world? And y'know what I do when I finish the list? Jake Humphrey: *nodding* deliver the presents Santa: *shaking his head* check it twice mate Jake: *grinning* fucking hell

'Tis the season...

When my friends are trying to teach me the rules of a card game and I physically cannot listen.

scooby-doo antagonists when their cellmate asks how they ended up in jail

Waiting for everyone to stop talking so you can announce you’re going home

Me when I put a tea towel over my shoulder and check on my son's fish fingers.

I’m not sure I can stop 🥹

Goodness me John Kerridge if you’ve got Heilung it’s going to be insane 🤞

tough choice but I’ll take a kiwi thanks

7 year old me after saying "no he can't" to the Bob the Builder theme tune to let everyone know I'm solid

No one: The brush that the barber uses to get hair off your neck: